Sunday, March 17, 2013

A Translation of Baudelaire, poorly done.

Inspired by the work of Matt Mason

Macabre Dance
To Ernest Christophe

Fire, so important that one lives, in a noble way
With his huge bouquet, his moustache and his pants
She is the calm and the truck
Of a hammer that has extravagant haughtiness.

One never lives in a ball, a cut very small?
Her exaggerated jacket, and her exaggerated nobility,
She writes with abandonment that a foot dries the pliers
A shoe bobbles, happy like a flower.

The hive with its playing on top of clavicles,
Like a philosopher sailor that is full of bone,
Defending the predicaments that ridicule raids
The meals of a surgeon that she relies on to hide.

These profound eyes are of life and of darkness,
And his amplification, of artistic flower hairdos,
Wobbling softly with their frilled backbones,
O charm, nothing but a crazy habit.

No one asks for your caricature,
Who doesn't understand, friends sit in the chair,
The elegance without the name of the human armchair.
You respond, big skeleton, in my way more dear!

You find yourself in trouble, with your mean lagoon face,
The party of one's life? or some desire of your parents.
Crazy again your lively carcass,
You eat some soup, you are gullible, on the Sabbath of pleasure?

In the chant of the violins, in the fingers of the nobility,
You aspire to chase your mocking ocean chair,
And you come to ask for a torrent of orgies
Of bright, refreshing light in the center?

Dying pools of idiots and of their need!
Of the antique sword eternally ambling!
To work the fence often at the coasts
I see, vagrant again, the sex-hungry gelatin meat-mold.

For truth, I amplify that your hammer
Does not work a grand design of their efforts
Who, of these mortal heads, tends to the railroad?
The charms of the horror does not envy the forts!

The pupils of your eyes, have terrible thoughts,
Exhale the vertigo, and the shy dancers
will not think about anything disgusting
The everlasting smile of thirty-two teeth.

Although, who does not have mountains in their bones,
And who is not nourished with the choices of beautiful land?
Who imports the perfume, the habit of the toilet?
Who does the digging of mountains that grow beautiful.

Baby bears without noses, irresistible poking,
You say of some dancers with orphans:
"Cute fire, the ugly art of cosmetics
You send all the dead! Oh muscular skeletons,

Nobody flattering, mushy-faced dandies,
Vernacular dead people, cherub love lace,
The universal ideals of the macabre dance
You entrust in the place of the person who is not going to survive!

Some cold places on the Seine with burning boards of the Ganges,
Pan frying the figurative mortal and his potato, without seeing
In a truth of the plum, the prostitute of the angels
Sinisterly bending the person who is a black trombone.

In all climates, for all suns, the dead admire you
And your contortions, raising humanity
And often, like you, her perfume is made of mirth,
Bringing together her irony and your insanity!"





Note: The author does not speak French.

You can find the side-by-side comparison of the original poem, the William Aggeler translations, and my translation below: 





Sunday, March 10, 2013

A list of words that you almost NEVER hear anymore

Volger: [1](adj) A mustard-green color; commonly used to refer to the sky before a storm. [2](n) The capital of the small island nation of Bruhzaaghaalitz.

Shabstice: [1](adj) Poor in quality, especially in the case of standard household repairs. Often used to refer to the work of landlords and government employees. [2](n) The smallest antler on the head of a reindeer.

Adfectubuster (n): "Liking" a Youtube comment at random for the purpose of disrupting "the system."

 Crushtunza (n): A state of mania and anxiety from writing with a dull pencil. Crushtunzic, adjective.

Fatuuskorper [1](n): A person who avoids making eye contact and conversation in order to refrain from answering a question.

Rudislilt (v): The act of awkwardly passing, and possibly avoiding, a person that you know but with whom you do not want to engage. Often presents itself as a dance with eyes averted.

Pontempelisk (n): A leaf that has inexplicably found its way into a shoe, especially if the owner of said shoe has not been around any trees.

Sournose (n): [1]The sensation that occurs after inhaling water through the nose. [2]A member of workplace who is known for fits of excessive complaining and unmerited boasting.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Courtney's Recipe for Savory and Delicious Experimental Fiction

Ingredients:
1 stack of well-worn Penguin Classics
1 pair of scissors
1 copy of Radiohead's album, Kid A

Instructions:
1. Marinate your brain. Pop in Kid A, and make sure to play it in the intended order, you wouldn't want anything to curdle.
2. Now, open up your classics and carefully cut out all the story arcs. We won't be using these, but you can save them in a freezer bag. They should keep for another 20 years.
3. Bring to boil one gallon of ingenuity, throw in your trimmed classics.
4. When the pot comes to a boil, add equal parts of the Internet, every memory of the conversations you had with your mother about the uncomfortable link between God and intercourse, and spicy contemporary poetry. Put the lid on the pot, set the heat to low, and let simmer for about a semester.
5. Check periodically. Don't let the mixture liquify or it will become a bland soup that tastes just like your 8th grade Lit teacher, Mrs. Taylor (the one who said writing in a book is a sin).
6. Drain the liquid from the classics.
7. Melt a copyeditor in a stainless steel frying pan and fry the classics on each side until crispy and delicious.
8. Serve with a side of confidence.


*Many recipes like this one call for a heavy portion of David Foster Wallace. Of course, this is really a matter of taste. So if you would like your experiment to have a more played-out consistency, add a pinch of Infinite Jest (watch out, this could make your work significantly more heavy).